Re-re-re-re start

This summer, I was looking for a project that all three kids (ages 6, 4 and 1 at the time) could participate in. After hunting around, we decided to start up a fish tank. We read about creating a healthy environment for the fish. We bought a tank on craigslist, and the kids carefully selected rocks and plans to make it beautiful. We started with three fish - a zebra danios and two guppies, as recommended by our local pet store. Once we kept them alive for a few weeks, we added a few more fishes. Since then, we've had our ups and downs.

A fiddler crab named King Arthur only lived with us for a short 4 weeks before he died.  He really belonged in a salt water tank, but the pet store didn't tell us that. 

Sick

I'm approaching the tail end of 17 days of solo parenting while Paul is in Asia for business. Week one was rocky; it took us a while to find our groove. But we did. Although the groove I found  I got sick. Fever, chills, body aches, want-to-lay-in-bed-all-day sick.

For the first two days, I was determined to push through. I medicated, drank coffee, and did most of the things I was supposed to do, with a little extra TV time for the kids. And that just made things worse. By the end of the second day, I crawled into my queen bed next to my 7-year-old, who timidly asked me, "Are you going to die?"

I needed a new plan. The next day (thanks to the prompting of a dear friend), I called everyone who had offered to help out while Paul was traveling. I arranged play dates and booked babysitters. I skipped the preschool potluck, and cued up last season's Downton Abby on my laptop. With the exception of a few pick-ups and drop-offs, I laid in bed all day. I ignored the dirty dishes and piles of laundry and allowed other people to feed my children.  And then, I went to bed with my kids at 8 p.m. And it worked. I woke up the following morning feeling, not perfect, but much, much better. It's a lesson I've heard a hundred times, but now I've learned myself. My body needs rest and downtime

On the eve of 4 years old

Dear Hannah,

On the day before your 4th birthday, I wanted to write a little something about how much joy and wonder you bring into my life.  You are incredibly affectionate, offering hugs and cuddles whenever someone is waking up or coming home.  You are loud and vibrant and excited about life about 75 percent of your waking hours . The remaining 25 percent, you spend quietly playing alone in your room, listening to books on CD, doing puzzles and organizing your jewelry. You love your siblings with a passion, even though Aaron sometimes teases you and Charlotte wrecks your Lego towers. And you are incredibly quick to forgive almost anyone.

I have a few stories from recent weeks that illustrate just how curious and fearless you are.

A visit
On the car ride to school the other day, you requested "The Scientist" by Coldplay. (Your dad's influence for sure.)  I complied, and you listened, singing quietly along. About halfway through the song you stopped.

H: Mama, is Chris Martin real? (He is the lead singer of Coldplay.)
Me: Yes, he is.
H: But where is he?  I can't see him anywhere.
Me: Well, he's in England. He uses a computer to record his voice so that lots of people can hear him sing?
H: (Face clearly lit up.)  Can we see him?!?!  (We're going to England next week to visit Paul's family.)
Me:  Well, I don't know.  There are a lot of people who live in England.
H: Well, we could just knock on his door.
Me: What would you do then, ask him to sing for you?
H: (Blushing and giggles.)

A dinner
Again, a conversation on the way to school.

H: I saw a hawk!
Me: Good try, but that was a sea gull.
H: But are hawks real?
Me: Yes. We see them in our backyard sometimes.  Remember, they have red tails.
H: Can we eat one for dinner?
Me: (Cringing.)  Well, I don't know. I guess we could eat a hawk for dinner, but it wouldn't have very much meat on it.
H: I know!  We'll catch one with a net. We'll need daddy's help. It will have to be a strong net.
Me: Then what will you do with it?
H: We'll smash it with a hammer and then take out its bones.

I love you, my sweet girl. Don't ever stop having big ideas. They will carry you far in life.
All my love,
Mama

Put-ups

Okay, let's try this blogging thing again.

Over the Christmas school break, we've had a little problem with sibling teasing in our house.  I think - now that I'm coming up for air - that so much together time forced all three kids to compete for my attention constantly. This lead to lots of bickering and name-calling.We tried sending them to their rooms, but that just seemed to make them more cranky. We tried a "Love Chart," we even thought about calling them names back (just kidding), but nothing seemed to work.

This morning a good friend who is a teacher told me about her classroom rule for name-calling. For every put-down, you have to deliver two "put-ups" by saying something nice to the person you teased.

That sounded good to me!  I explained the new rules to the kids at breakfast, and almost immediately had a chance to put this rule into action this morning when Aaron called Hannah a dummy.

A: Oh, I forgot (about the new rule). You mean right now?
Me: Yes, right now.
A: But I don't know what to say.
Me: You could tell her you love her. You could think of some things that she's good at.
H, with a big grin: You could say that I'm pretty.
A: I'm not doing this.
Me: Yes you are.
H, with an even bigger grin: You could say that I'm special.
A: Okay, I love you Hannah. I can't think of another one.
Me: Yes, you can.
A, after an awkward pause: You're good at cooking. (Then he cracks a big smile.)
H, beaming: Thank you, Aaron. Would you like one of my gummy bears?

Success!

The story of our Christmas tree, 2014

I don't write often any more, but this is a story that bears telling and remembering.  A few days into December, our family received an invitation from some friends to cut down a Christmas tree from their property. The previous owners had planted dozens of evergreens to sell to nurseries one day, and then never harvested them. Twenty years later, their land is full of some very tall Christmas trees.

On a cold and sunny afternoon, we packed up Aaron, Hannah, a load of winter gear and 12 candy canes, and headed to our friend's house. Everyone climbed into a trailer attached to